This is Kaija’s impression of the Grade 1 open house, a few months ago, as recorded by Danielle:
I got to get a story. It was so fun. I losed a game on the computer. I got to stay in the calssroom for a little bit. I got a little bit of a silly story read to me. I had a very very fun time. And I got to see the principal. The kids were mean to each other. They were fighting because they were just playing a game - that a girl was Rapunzel. While I was drawing the picture, I thought Mama had left. I awas going to finish the picture and then find Mama.
Nt so many children - I like it. When they asked me for my ideas, I told them I don’t have any ideas! (embarrassed) I want home work - school at home.
Most of the kids were nice. Some of the kids were a little bit mean. They talked to me when I didn’t want them to.
I interpret this in several ways. First: she wasn’t feeling ready for the experience of grade one. (Not at that time, anyway.) Second: she wants to please, so she says things like “It was so fan” and “I want … school at home” semi-randomly to see if she gets hits. Finally: she’s not socially well adapted to school.
Let me unpack that last one a bit. She’s very social and has great social skills. It’s just that we’ve tended to focus on the ones with the most payoff in our family: negotiation, getting along with siblings, maintaining existing relationships. She’s not very experienced at status games or making new friends, both skills which are very useful in a school setting. We’ll try to practice those more next year.
I’m actually rather ambivalent about the status games one; I think that has a lot more utility in the classroom than in adult life, so it seems like more of a stage that people pass through (and thus, why should I inflict that stage on my kids if they don’t discover it themselves?) than a skill to teach. OTOH, there do seem to be some adults who never outgrow that stage, and it is helpful to at least be able to recognize it. For now, I think T’s (lack of) social skills gives us plenty to focus on, but we will have to revisit this issue at some point.
Making new friends is a great skill to have, and one I still struggle with; my children seem more comfortable with that one than I am.